As a pastor, you tend to enter into people’s lives in the deep end. It is usually something significant that results in you being drawn into their orbit. A loss, a gain, a wedding, a funeral, a divorce, or a divorce they’re trying to avoid. This means that there is an instant intimacy that feels like a friendship, but often isn’t. You are a service provider, you just don’t know that. 
You think that perhaps you are a friend trying to help.

In August of 2021 I began to experience crippling anxiety and related depression that impacted my physical and emotional functioning to the extent that it became difficult, or perhaps impossible, for me to do my job. This ultimately manifested in some significant and truly terrifying panic attacks. I sought help and encouragement from a counselor and reached out to my wonderfully compassionate boss, who encouraged me to see my physician to see if additional help was needed. The doctor (as well as the counselor) agreed that I was struggling with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and that the best path forward was to seek treatment with counseling, medication and an immediate reduction of stress.

I was deeply ashamed.